A Silent Place to Fall
by Restless Resolve
Summary: Sakura hated the quiet. It wasn't so much the lack of sound that created the problem. It was the lacking; the sense of loss that allowed the echoes inside of her room to breathe. desperate to break free of the chaos brewing inside of her, Sakura seeks comfort in the shadows and the shinobi who dwells within them. One-shot set 2 years before A Restless Resolve. Shika/Sakura


So yah. This is set two years before ARR occurs and about one year after Sasuke left for redemption.

This kinda shows the beginning stages of where and why Sakura first fell for Shikamaru, as well as how there friendship develops.

Honestly, I just wanted to write a cute fluffy scene with them. So enjoy. Lol

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A Silent Place to Fall

Sakura hated the quiet. It wasn't so much the lack of sound that created the problem. It was the lacking; the sense of loss that allowed the echoes inside of her room to breathe. That, of course, was always a bad thing. To breathe would mean they had the space to speak, to take possession of the silence and fill it with an almost animalistic scream. No, that wasn't right. It was she who did the screaming. The echoes only had to whisper. The volume of their words was in their weight.

Failure.

Disappointment.

 _Useless._

It didn't matter what Sakura did, who she saved, or how far she would go; it never felt far enough. Any praise or feelings of accomplishment were always crushed under the memories of the jeers. It didn't matter that those jeers came from the mouths of children whose faces she could no longer remember, or how those failings came from a time of pubescent naiveté; they held power in their absolution.

 _It would never matter._

It was for this reason that Sakura kept busy. Why, despite those telling her to rest, she would sign herself up for every mission available to her, only to spend her days off on shift at the hospital. Never sitting still, never allowing herself a moment, it was always one task after the other. In keeping constantly occupied, she had no time to let her mind wander. It was the way Sakura liked it.

For the most part, it worked.

Today was not one of those days.

The hour was late. Sakura didn't need to look at the clock on her desk to tell her it was in the early hours of the morning; she could feel it in the heaviness of her eyes and the stiffness residing in her bones. Despite all her tossing and turning, despite the candles she lit with soothing smells, or the countless deep breaths she'd taken to lull herself into the void of slumber, her mind refused to settle. Instead, it squirmed with a needling insistence, mocking her. Every mistake she had ever made throughout her life was on an unbreakable feedback loop, highlighting her every flaw. Every doubt she had had about herself jumped about, demanding attention. It was relentless. Suffocating.

Snapping her eyes open, Sakura threw back her covers and marched over to her dresser. Grabbing a spare workout uniform, she proceeded to get dressed. If she wasn't going to get any sleep, she might as well use her restless energy to get some training in. She made a point of not looking at the time as she left her room, locking the front door of her apartment behind her before starting to jog down the road. Deliberately not thinking about where she was going, Sakura just ran, choosing to focus solely on the crisp sting of the fall air on her face as she increased her speed until her lungs burned. She counted her paces, falling into an easy rhythm as her feet hammered into the ground, the vibrations from each step reverberating inside of her. As Sakura ran, driving the tension of her body out through her legs, she started to organize her day.

Sparing practice.

Breakfast.

Research in the library.

Meeting with Hokage.

More Research.

Early dinner with friends

Night shift at Hospital.

The voices, however, still refused to cease their whispers. Sakura forced herself to move faster, desperate for air. She steered herself out of the main village square. Even in the dead of night, there were still the few stragglers that kept the village from seeming completely deserted; lights here and there in windows that flickered with moving shadows, or the faint hum of unsteady laughter returning home after a night of drinking. Sakura didn't want to hear any of it. She didn't need to see the reminder of all the people she continued to let down. Breaking away from the confines of the town, Sakura halted at the edge of the meadow. The surrounding forest made for a deep, black pitch of unspoken promises. Gasping for each breath, Sakura gazed into the void. She wondered if this was how Sasuke felt, all those years ago. Was it this same desperate need to become something real that drove him to leave? Sometimes the cloak of night was an all too tempting siren; all sweet words and hollow promises.

 _How easy it could be_ , it would murmur, _no one would even notice_.

 _Would_ anyone notice?

She took a step forward, her right hand fisted around the top of her shirt. She could feel the pounding of her own heart against her chest. With a shuddering sigh, she dropped to the ground; falling back until she was laid flat on her back, her arms and legs spread out as if ready to embrace the sky. The stars twinkled above her in the millions. Blinking as if, they too could see the world from the void that was Sakura's own eyes.

"Rough night?" Sakura startled, her eyes flickered to the source of the sound. Standing above her, hands stuffed languidly inside his pockets, Shikamaru raised his eyebrow. Relaxing once more, Sakura turned back to the sky.

"I thought you were away on a mission."

"Just got back." As if to prove his point, Shikamaru shrugged off his vest, casting it to the ground. It was only then Sakura noticed the tears and stains of dried blood. Something inside of her clenched.

"You're hurt."

"Not particularly."

"Show me." There was something to be said in the way Shikamaru didn't even attempt to argue, choosing instead to merely pull off his netted shirt as he took a seat beside his fellow shinobi. Sitting up, Sakura ran her hands along Shikamaru's back, noting the small lacerations of a kunai's edge. They weren't deep. Evidence of treatment could be seen in the ointment that stuck, now dry, along the openings of each wound. Placing her hand over the largest, Sakura started to infuse her chakra into the cut, sealing it shut so that it didn't even leave a scar.

"You should see a doctor if you're injured." Sakura chided, moving onto the next one.

"I'm here, aren't I?"

"There is no way you could have known _I_ would be."

"Your lab was my next stop."

"I have a house." Sakura retorted, falling back onto the ground, finished.

Shikamaru snorted, rolling his shoulders to test the tightness of his skin. It came as no surprise when there wasn't a single jolt of pain.

"I am aware." His head twisted so that he could look at her. "Are you?"

Sakura's eye twitched. She wanted to snap back, but who was she kidding? The apartment was little more than an overpriced storage unit she occasionally slept in so people wouldn't ask questions. Biting her lip, Sakura looked away.

"It was too quiet." She finally whispered.

Surprised by her candor, Shikamaru turned around, noting the bags that hung under her eyes. How long had it been since she slept last? Sliding down to lay beside her, Shikamaru gazed up at the stars, his hands forming a makeshift pillow under his head.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, just as softly.

"Not really." Sakura sighed. "How was your mission?"

Shikamaru gave the barest of shrugs, acknowledging her desire for a change in subject.

"Wet."

"Did you really expect the Hidden Mist to be dry?"

"It should have been called the Hidden Storm with the way it poured during the mission. The entire thing was a complete drag."

"Are you surprised?" Sakura chucked, "What else is the sky suppose to do other than weep when it has to gaze at you? You incite such disappointment from the world, all it can do its cry in pity upon your barren soul."

"Let it wail," Shikamaru replied, deadpanned. "I have grown strong on the tears of the gods."

"Careful, they might hear you and seek retribution."

"I'm sure they have better things to do than smite my sacrilege."

"If I was a God, I'd smite you." Sakura declared, smirking.

Shikamaru rolled onto his side, propping his head up with his hand, elbow bent.

"If you were a God," Shikamaru drawled, his eyes twinkling, "Who would you be?"

Following suit, Sakura turned to face Shikamaru, mirroring his stance. She pondered his question.

"Izanami." She decided at last. "As a medical ninja, I could totally pass as both the creator of life and gatekeeper to death. Plus," She added, as an afterthought, "It would just be my luck to marry a man, die from baring his children, only for him to abandon me in the underworld because I was no longer pretty after being dead for so long."

Shikamaru laughed, his body actually shaking from the force of it. Taken aback, Sakura couldn't help but chuckle along with him.

"I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit." Shikamaru managed to say after calming down, the mirth still heavy in his voice.

"Are you implying I'm not the kind of girl who would willingly destroy thousands of living souls for each day my husband refused to come back to me?" Sakura asked, incredulous.

"More like, you're not the kind of girl to put up with a man who would make you resort to such drastic measures," Shikamaru explained. Still chuckling.

"Oh yeah," Sakura glared, trying to ignore the image of a certain absent Shinobi with black hair and cold eyes. "Than tell me, which god would _you_ be?"

"Fūjin," Shikamaru nodded sagely.

"The God of Wind?" Sakura laughed, although she was hardly surprised. With the amount of time Shikamaru spent gazing up at the sky with his head in the clouds, it made sense.

"I could see that." She agreed. Leaning forward, Sakura reached out her other arm and ran her hand along Shikamaru's face, up towards his hairline. "I'm sure you'd make for a dashing red-headed, demon looking lizard man."

Shikamaru just rolled his eyes, not even bothering to swat her hand away.

"If it means I get left alone, what do I care if people see me as a monster?"

"Wouldn't it though?" Sakura asked, softly, the shimmer in her eyes dimming to a flat sheen. "Bother you, I mean."

Sensing the change in atmosphere, Shikamaru's face became a little more serious. Reaching up, he took Sakura's hand away from his face, lacing their fingers together in front of them.

"The ones that truly mattered would know the difference." Sakura stared at their clasped hands, unseeing. Brushing his thumb along Sakura's knuckles, Shikamaru could not help but notice how much they felt like ice. Looking more closely at her attire, he frowned. It was no wonder, considering she only wore a pair of short shorts and a loose shirt.

"You're cold. You should have put on more clothing."

"Says the guy without a shirt on." Sakura retorted. "I didn't plan on laying around in the grass when I left the house." She added, sheepishly, pulling her hand out of his to run it along the goosebumps forming on her arm. Shikamaru frowned further. Moving closer, he looped his arm around Sakura's waist, tugging her against his chest before lying back down.

"There," He smirked, his eyes glancing down at her with a gentle warmth that left Sakura feeling warmer than any fire. "Problem solved."

Sakura hesitated, wanting to pull back. Only, she really didn't. Shikamaru, despite being shirtless and on the ground, was incredibly warm; his heart beat at a steady, almost lullaby-like rhythm beneath her fingertips, drawing her in. Accepting the comfort, Sakura relaxed, fitting her head into the crook between Shikamaru's shoulder and neck.

"I could have just put on your vest." Shikamaru only hummed in reply, re-lacing his fingers with hers atop his chest as the other hand went to play with the soft locks of her hair. Sakura clenched her fingers tightly around his, biting her lip. She couldn't even remember the last time she had been held in this way. If, at all, even. Without even intending to, she leaned further into his touch, curling her body around his. Shikamaru responded by drawing her tighter against himself. They laid in silence after that. Sakura couldn't bring herself to ruin it with words, just wanting to enjoy the stolen moment for what it was; a moment. As Shikamaru continued to gently graze his nails along her scalp, content to let the silence rest, Sakura reflected on their relationship.

It had only been a year since Sasuke left the village on his quest for redemption, but in that time, much had changed. Sakura had taken over as the head researcher at the hospital, under the Hokage's tutelage, earning herself the freedom and authority to manage much of the newly developing medical experiments. Sometime during that time, Shikamaru and her had grown closer. It had started with just a few glances and brief conversations here and there in the halls or around town. Shikamaru had always been a friend in Sakura's eyes, but never someone she would consider herself close to. However, as Sakura saw more and more of him, she realized how well they got along. Eventually, they started going on missions together, Shikamaru's tendency for delicate strategies pairing well with Sakura's unique set of skills with medicine and chakra control. Together, they had successfully completed more than a fair share of S Ranked assassination and reconnaissance missions. He had taught her to play shoji, and although she still had yet to win a single match against him, she found herself always looking forward to their games. Shikamaru had become a friend Sakura felt comfortable relying on, not just with the small things, but the things she couldn't even open up to with Naruto or Ino. Maybe that was why she would occasionally find herself in a situation like this…

"Have you ever-" Sakura bit her lip, instantly regretting having spoken up. "Don't you think it would get lonely?"

Shikamaru glanced down at her, the blank look on his face making Sakura even more uncomfortable.

"I mean," Sakura tried to hide her blush, attempting to elaborate. "Looking like a lizard demon wouldn't make for the easiest first impressions." When she saw a glimmer of understanding in Shikamaru's eyes, the feeling of relief was palpable.

"Possibly…" he murmured, not breaking eye contact with Sakura for a second. "But there's a big difference between being alone and feeling lonely. I'd rather have no one than be surrounded by a group of people, who, at the end of the day, made me feel like I wasn't even there."

"Do you ever feel like that now?" Shikamaru's eyes softened and something inside Sakura squirmed.

"Sorry," She tried to back peddle, her hand instinctively moving to let go of Shikamaru's. "Just igno-"

"Sometimes."

Sakura froze, eyes widening at Shikamaru's confession.

"It's hard finding your place when the world seems determined to leave you behind. Huh, almost feels like a joke coming from someone like me." Shifting her weight, Sakura found herself moving even closer to Shikamaru. It didn't matter that he spoke with mirth; Sakura could hear it, that faint tint of bitterness that slithered just beneath the surface. It wasn't right; hearing something like that from someone like him. It was like looking into a mirror.

"It's not a joke," Sakura whispered, squeezing his hand. Squeezing back, Shikamaru smiled, the action more sincere than the first.

"Bad Poetry than."

"You don't write poetry."

"Probably for the best."

They didn't say anything after that for a long while. Instead, they watched the stars. When the first rays of light started to break through the horizon, however, and the first strokes of color found their way past the darkness, Sakura broke the silence between them for the second time that night.

"Hey, Shikamaru?"

"Yah?" Lifting her head from off his chest, she smiled down at her friend. He looked back at her, eyes so dark they could almost be mistaken for black. Bringing up her spare hand, the one not currently wrapped around his, she flicked his nose.

"Any piece of this world that thinks it can do better without you in it, doesn't deserve your devotion. This village would be lost without you."

Shikamaru blinked up at her, his face unreadable. For a second, Sakura felt herself waver. Had she said something wrong? But before she could apologize, Shikamaru spoke.

"It's not often I find myself second guessing myself. But when I do, I come here."

Sakura furrowed her brow, not understanding what he meant.

"To cloud watch?"

"To you." Sakura couldn't breathe, couldn't think. He couldn't be serious? _Could_ he? Speechless, Sakura remained frozen in place, unable to respond. Her mouth felt dry, her stomach twisting itself into a million knots. Chuckling to himself, Shikamaru let go of Sakura's hand and began to sit up. Responding on reflex, Sakura immediately followed suit, giving him the space to stand. Shikamaru stood and rolled his shoulders, grunting in relief as the joints popped along his neck and back. He glanced down at Sakura while doing this, noting her still dazed expression and smiled sadly to himself.

"Common," he called to her, collecting his shirt and vest from the ground and putting them back on. "Breakfast is on me."

Snapping out of her trance, Sakura scrambled to her feet.

It wasn't just the village that would be lost without Shikamaru, Sakura realized as she watched him saunter away, hands tucked into his pockets as he walked with his eyes to the sky.

Without Shikamaru, Sakura knew she would have been lost as well.

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Id love to hear what you guys think, thanks for reading!

Cheers!


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